I have something to say
Before the words run away.
Amid my mind and mouth is a wall,
Stalling me, shrinking me so small,
All the while I’m begging you to stay.
Hear my words.
My body has never felt quite right.
To fit it has always been a fight.
For my mind it’s just a vessel.
Guess the stress’ll cause a mess, ‘ll
Dress my desperation and my plight
In fears incurred.
I’ve never felt right among others
And normal conversation just smothers.
Girls talk of their periods and boobs,
Groups of talking points that move me to a stupor.
Dubious of connubial jubilee, my druthers
Are, sincere, unheard.
Those parts and processes feel so wrong.
I can barely even say the words.
The resentment comes so strong
With my mind and body stirred.
They want to look sexy, cute and appealing.
I wish I were a blob of shape unrevealing,
For the form that is condemnin’ in
Truth is far too feminine.
It pains me, it scares me to say these things,
But I can’t keep them down anymore.
This isn’t who I am,
And I won’t be free
Till I can be me.
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